20 March 2022
It’s okay to feel a little down from time to time. Here’s how to confront the negativity, and address the anxiety or stress that you’re feeling.
It’s been a while since the pandemic hit us. And by now, with endemic measures in place, buzzwords like “new normal”, “burnout” and “mental health” have faded into the background. Travelling has slowly resumed, so we’re all feeling a little more positive and adjusting to the…uh, new normal.
But are we really OK?
If you’ve been feeling aimless and facing random bouts of gnawing anxiety for no apparent reason, you’re not alone. It’s a legitimate feeling, so says an article by The New York Times. Between burnout and boredom lies what sociologist Corey Keyes calls the state of languishing - the neglected emotion we can’t put our finger on. The pandemic has taken a toll on our emotions, and while this isn’t something we can recover from in a blink, we can start taking charge of the situation.
Be in Touch with Your Emotions
You don’t have to be happy and peachy all the time. If you feel upset or restless, don’t push away these feelings. The key to feeling a little better than the day before is identifying the causes of your mood dips.
The first thing you can do is to not project your emotions elsewhere. If you’re feeling upset about work, take a step back and re-evaluate the situation. Are things not going your way due to uncontrollable circumstances? If so, you have to remind yourself that having feelings of worry and anger over things outside of your control is normal. But you shouldn’t stress out over it for too long and let it affect the way you communicate with others. During this period of time, it’s important to be mindful of aggravating behaviours like slamming doors or using hurtful words on others.
Just take a walk, go for a coffee and get some fresh air to clear your mind. Do anything else but the matter at hand. Understand that if it’s out of your control, your best bet would just be just to wait for things to progress.
Know When to Say No
As someone who is easy-going, you may have fallen into the trap of agreeing to things and then regretting it after. It can be hard to say no, especially when your good friends are asking you for favours. But sometimes, having too many things going on can cause you to feel anxious and antsy for no reason.
And if you don’t know exactly when to say no, buy yourself some time. The next time someone asks you for a favour, don’t immediately agree to it. Say, your friend calls you up and asks you, in vague terms, for help on something you aren’t even sure you want to commit to. Simply let him know you’re a little busy at the moment and will need some time to think about it. Then, get him to text you the full details of the issue.
Always make sure to evaluate your own basket of personal plans before filling it with other matters. It can be hard to start saying no at first, but here are some ways to deliver the message without hurting anyone’s feelings:
- For that friend who’s always asking you to head out for a good time:
“Thanks for thinking of me! But I’m a little packed this month, so I’ll give it a miss.”
- For the time when you really can’t help due to your own personal circumstances:
“Hey there, I’m a little stretched out this month. I’m so sorry I can’t be able to help this time around.”
- For the colleague who’s always roping you to help with his work:
“This seems a little out of my scope, I don’t think I’ll be able to help much.”
- For the acquaintance who consistently bugs you to support his projects and gigs that you aren’t interested in:
“I have some things I need to sort out so I can’t be there. Thank you for the invite and I hope things go well!”
Your Home Is Your Sanctuary
You deserve a break every now and then. If you’re listless and feel that your life isn’t progressing, chances are, you’re in need of a recharge. Book yourself a spa day or head for a yoga class. Taking a break doesn’t always mean a week-long vacation. If you can’t take long breaks, be sure to use your weekends to get your groove back.
It also helps to put a bit more intention into taking a break - block out a date for your recharge time and stick to it. During your break, turn off your social media and email notifications so you don’t get distracted. Being fully present in the moment prevents you from just going through the motions while still thinking about the stuff that’s been bothering you.
According to the American health information provider Healthline, being present isn’t as hard as it seems. It ranges from fully tasting and savouring the food you’re eating to feeling the softness of a blanket you’re using. This allows you to focus on the physical things around you during your rest time, stopping your mind from wandering to the things that cause you stress.
Another thing to note is to not wait till you’re at the point of exploding. If you’ve been pushing the things that bother you to the back of your mind, it means you’re bottling things up. It’s time to speak to someone just so you can unload your emotions. You don’t want to accidentally unleash your feelings onto an innocent friend or family member as the repercussions can cause you further stress.
Here are some signs that you’re bottling up:
- You’ve resorted to unhealthy coping mechanisms like binge eating
- Your "bad-mood days" have increased in frequency
- You’re more prone to getting irate
- You overreact to the smallest things
- You avoid confrontation
If you’re exhibiting any if the above behaviours, you’re in need of a good chat. Don’t be afraid to confront these feelings and ask for help. Just remember: It’s 2022, it’s time your happiness and wellbeing take priority.
Related Reads
5 Ways to Motivate Yourself to Work Out
5 Ways to Keep Your Mental Health in Check
